" I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer…” These are pretty profound and powerful words. This litany was written by Frank Herbert for its science-fiction masterpiece novels Dune. It is meant as a mantra, to be repeated by one who faces dangers of any kind, be it real or imagined. It provides an anchor for the mind to attach itself to and control the debilitating effect that fear can have on any human being. In the Dune novel, there is a very powerful scene where Paul, the young centerpiece character, is confronted to a mind test where he must insert his hand into a box and keep it in there at all cost or he will be poisoned to death by a needle held to his neck. (scary stuff…) The Mother Superior, who administers the test, describes to Paul what he will feel in this box. Pain, a burning sensation as if his skin is melting around his bones, etc ! The thoughts of paid alone are enough for Paul to go wild with emotions and actual physical sensations.
By the way, I’m a huge fan of Dune, be it the novel, the 1984 movie and more importantly, the upcoming 2020 movie, which will be directed by none other than Denis Villeneuve, the one that gave us Blade Runner 2049, Arrival and Sicario… just to name a few.
But let’s get back to fear, shall we!
“A coward dies a thousand times before his death, but the valiant taste of death but once. It seems to me most strange that men should fear, seeing that death, a necessary end, will come when it will come.”
This one, written by none other than William Shakespeare for his internationally acclaimed “Julius Cesar,” is so meaningful. Every time I face fear, specifically fear of what is to come ahead, I am reminded of my late father Paul, a pretty awesome daddy, who used to tell me repetitively, “stop being afraid of being afraid.” He was absolutely right. The number of hours wasted, the stomach cramps, the sleepless nights fearing something that may or may not be fearful or even happen, is complete nonsense. Tell me about it. I know, I was (and still am to some level) afraid of being afraid.
“Meditation as a source of calm and focus… but also to manage fear.”
Fear is an emotion. An emotion strong enough to take over, to take control of your mind and your body. Sweaty palms, stomach cramps, nervousness, trembling, flight, tears, screams, you name it. These are just a few of the sensations you may feel when fear takes over. It might be felt as a mild sensation, all the way to an unmanageable emotion, depending on the level of fear experienced. Take for example public speaking or any performance in front of an audience. You have practised several hours. You know your subject, the words, the notes, the moves, on the tip of your fingers. You got it ! Then comes the actual time to perform in front of your audience. Fear sets-in. All of a sudden, what was such an easy thing becomes sketchy. You forget your lines, your moves. You are not at all capable of recreating what you had practiced so well and were mastering, alone, in your living room. Fear may and will do this. Unless we all learn to manage fear, it will take over in nasty ways.
Meditation has long been used by those in the know to allow the mind to calm itself down, to allow for the creative juice to flow freely, free of the constraints of the fear factor. Magic ? Not at all. And believe me, it sounds much easier than it is in reality. I like to compare meditation to playing a musical instrument. The more you practise, the better you get at it. At first, your mind wanders, goes crazy, all over the place. You can’t focus for more than 15 sec at a time. But with time and some good guidance by one of the so-many apps you can find these days, you will start feeling the benefits and calming effects of the practice of meditation. I will get more into this in another article soon, so look for it.
Using meditation before a stressful event will help you keep your focus at the right place and avoid being sucked-in the fear rabbit-hole.
“You only live once”
Believe me, I know fear. I’m a champion at worrying for things to come. For better and for worse, I have, and still am, learning to live with this and use the energy in a positive way. During my career in the corporate world, mostly in the last 18 months where I had the unfortunate displeasure to work for one of the worst bosses ever, and for a corporation that puts profit before people, the pressure became so strong that fear was a daily emotion, resulting in me having to go on sick leave because of a nervous breakdown. And unfortunately, the longer you wait before facing this reality and handling it in one way or another, the longer and harder it will be to recover from it and get back to your “normal” self. So remember this: “YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE”
And what about when I decided to quit my corporate career in the airline industry to embrace a life of travels and self-discovery. I was NOT financially
in a position to continue living in Canada and not work for the following 10 years, nor did I want to continue seeing my mental and physical health deteriorate to the nasty effects of stress. So I took the leap, with no safety net. Believe me, there were countless sleepless nights of thinking and planning and fearing. All of it by lack of self confidence. I did not believe in my capacities of pulling this off without crashing. But you know what ? The most painful part of all this was the fear itself. This was in 2017. I can tell you that I NEVER regretted my decision and am living some of my best years.
“You ain't getting any younger…”
Us baby-boomers and Gen-X people are very much prone to such stressful breakdowns. In my opinion, we did not know what the acronym YOLO meant. Heck, it did not exist 10-15 years ago. You Only Live Once is now part of my life mantra, my philosophy. If you don’t do it now, if you don’t try it now, you may very well never do it. Remember, technically, we only have one crack at our own life. Yes, yes, some will say, “what about reincarnation?”. Well, as much as I want to believe in it, I still won’t take the risk and I will live this life to its fullest, not missing-out on every opportunity to live and feel alive. And what about a second chance at your actual life ? Yes. I mean, what about stopping saying, “When I retire, I’ll go on a trip… I’ll start walking, running and climbing mountains “ ! Sorry but, the reality for too many people is that once you get to the age of retirement, several factors will play against you:
1- You ain’t getting any younger so you may not have the energy you once had when the time’s come, when you decide that you’re ready
2- You are set in your sedentary ways
3- You’re afraid of the unknown
This list could go on and on. And thankfully, It doesn’t apply to 100% of us. I have seen people in their late 50’ and 60’ being at the top of their game physically and mentally and are living their best years. I salute them. But for many of us, it ain’t the case, right ? So stop waiting. Now is the best time. You don’t have to quit your job and change the country you’re living in like I did. I went a little further than most of us will but don’t let this stop you to go further, take a risk, live your dreams. Remember, fear will be in your way. Fear will be your worst enemy, trying to discourage you to take that leap, that risk. But the good thing about fear is that… YOU can control it.
